In my family the Christmas season is usually filled with a great sense of spirituality, laughter, and love. As I ponder on the holidays season, I can’t help but be reminded of Christmas’s past. There is never a dull moment when my family gets together. We would excessively recite lines from famous movies, like The Christmas Story, Soul Food and even The Color Purple. If I’m honest, any family get together with my sisters is a time to one up the other in cracking jokes. We’ve made an art out of creatively and strategically inserting lines from the movie, The Color Purple in about every conversation we have. Someone might complain, and I’d say “This life be over soon, heaven last always.” This is a line from the movie, so if you’re not that familiar with The Color Purple, almost every joke would go right over your head. And no matter what there will always be singing. There are times when we just break out in song and the house sounds like one big gospel musical. As much as I anticipate the opportunity to be authentically me without any judgment, I can’t help but acknowledge the gloom that may fill the air throughout our time together. This year will be different. It is the first Christmas without my dad. I will miss his loud outburst of laughter when watching a funny Christmas movie, hearing him play the piano and sing, or brag about how tender his meat turned out. Even if with uncertainty, I’m sure that together our family will be able to courageously navigate through what will now forever be a new kind of Christmas.
You may be like me, working through some type of loss or grief. Someone else may be dealing with a sense of hopelessness. There is a scripture in the bible that says, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit (Psalms 34:18).” Personally, there have been many times when I’ve felt like, “this is just too much to handle”, but I’m living proof that God is close to the brokenhearted and you can make it through this season.
I am also reminded of a story in the bible about a man named David who was chosen to be the King of Israel. In a celebration, King Saul heard women come sing about victories he and then David had won in battle. In comparison he had thought of David’s to be a greater success. The women said Saul had slain thousands in battle and David ten thousand along with slaying the giant, Goliath. David had a real dilemma. King Saul was so jealous that he wanted to take David’s life in fear of losing the throne (1 Samuel 23). Can you imagine such a dichotomous situation where you’ve been called to one of the highest positions all to be overshadowed by your life being threatened? It’s like the saying says, “it was the best of times and the worst of times” all at once. Saul had David on the run for his life for years.
Can you imagine the heartache, frustration, and the pain of essentially running from someone you respected and loved? He loved Saul and his family, to include his son Jonathan, and even married his daughter Michal. Can you imagine being David, awakened by your wife only to be told to leave the comfort of your home because the King, my dad, will not rest until you’re dead? David was on the run for his life and to him it appeared to be for no apparent reason. Do you feel like David? “What have I done?” Surely, this would be enough to cause anyone to be in a state of depression. There is a scripture where David is so troubled and gripped with fear that he drooled on his beard as if he were insane, out of fear for his life.
You may also be asking yourself, how did David survive and get through this season which could have been anywhere from about 7 to 10 years? The bible says, David cried out often to God. (Psalms 142:1-2 ESV) “With my voice I cry out to the Lord; with my voice I plead for mercy to the Lord. I pour out my complaint before him; I tell my trouble before him.”
If you can relate, this is for you.” Do as David, and cry out to God to let him know what’s exactly on your heart and mind. He created you and surely, he can handle whatever emotions you may be feeling. Some would say, I’m too mad to even talk to God. I say to you that God is not taken by your emotions. For he created you and understands the frailty of our hearts. There is a scripture that says, “Cast all of your anxiety on him because he cares for you (1 Peter 5:7)”. I believe that almost any talk with God, even out of anger is a sign of your faith. Ultimately, you are considering God as the source in which to speak of your frustrations.
This Christmas, gift yourself with a dose of transparency. Whether you make your desires known to God or another person, I believe this is critical. The web states that transparency is relating to others by revealing your inner self, your true experience. It also says that you expose your vulnerabilities and fears, as well as your desires and points of view. Your trust may have been violated, so you don’t quite know how you feel about this topic of transparency. The truth is that it is not easy to always share your vulnerabilities, but at its best it can be the most rewarding and freeing experience ever. What else can be holding you back? Are you the friend, family member or professional that is known for always having it together? Do you pride yourself on always being the go-to person? Does the position you hold at work, church, or in your community say: “He or she always has it together.” Well if that is you, it’s not too late to make a change. To maintain an authentic lifestyle we must get over the need to avoid transparency. Reaching out is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of greatness. We exude greatness by our willingness to make a commitment to self-care. If you haven’t taken that leap of faith to open up to a responsible, caring person, or sought professional help, do it now. It’s time to tell yourself, “I matter!”
Be mindful, that the holidays may not be Merry for everyone. Here are a few of my own holiday remedies for myself:
• Transparency: Talk to someone
• Listen to someone else
• Pray/ read the bible
• Listen to uplifting music
• Don’t isolate yourself
• Exercise
• Create: Through baking or art
• Play: Have fun, play games with my son
• Laugh/ Watch Movies
• Professional counseling
• Find ways to bless someone else
Fayth Polite 